A Heavy Heart

Today my heart is heavy. Why, because of this:
CANCER
Main Entry: can·cer
Pronunciation: \ˈkan(t)-sər\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin (genitive Cancri), literally, crab; akin to Greek karkinos crab, cancer
[Latin, crab, cancer] a : a malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis b : an abnormal bodily state marked by such tumors
: something evil or malignant that spreads destructively
I feel like everytime I turn around I hear of another child, another friend, another co-worker, another mother, father, sister, brother that has cancer.

WHY?????
I do not know why, but I know that today it hit a little closer to home for me.
A childhood friend passed away today after battling a brain tumor for a while. She is MY age. I graduated high school with her and she has a 4 year old. This breaks my heart more than anything.
Thanks to FB, I have been able to reconnect with her, but only a little.
She wrote me on my birthday and I just wrote back and asked how she was doing. She wrote me back and told me that she was ok and in between chemo treatments and she asked how this baby was doing. I checked this on my phone and planned to write her back on my home computer, because sometimes it is just a pain to write on my phone. But guess what? I never did. I did recently send her a message but I don't know if she was already too sick to even get it. I had heard she was sick but did not know details. I am just so mad at myself for not letting her know that I actually cared. She could have just used the pick me up. It would have taken me two seconds and I didnt do it. UUGGHH!
I honestly don't know why I am taking this SO hard, but she is just too young! Too young to go and leave her husband and little boy. I now have someone on my "friend list" on FB that has passed away...that seems so strange.
I feel like so often we hear of another person having cancer, and always say, "Oh that is so awful. I feel terrible. etc. etc" But what do we really do about it? Are we REALLY there for them? Are we REALLY adding them to our prayer list and praying hard for them?

I'm just sad today and thinking about that sweet little boy who doesn't have his momma anymore.

Tickle Me Tuesday

Thanks in advance for letting me rant and rave about my little ones without judging me as one of those crazy moms who only talks about her kids! :) I don't want to forget these things and this is my documentation.

Driving down the road on a very pretty day with blue skies and white puffy clouds:
Lila: I see a BEAUTIFUL rainbow!
Me (not seeing a rainbow): You do? What color is it?
Lila: It is BLUUUUEEEE and white!
Apparently she hasn't been paying attention to that "What makes a rainbow" book we've been reading.... since she was a baby. Kidding.
Luckily, on Friday we really did see a beautiful rainbow after a few showers in town.

On Sunday, I noticed the back of a house that I have shown in the past. It sits way off the road and I don't usually notice it when the trees are in bloom. I made the comment to Michael that I have shown that house before.
Lila, who doesn't miss a thing and pays attention to all of our conversations says, "It doesn't have brick on it yet."
I look at Michael bewildered as if to say, Is she talking about what I think she is talking about it?
So I asked her what she meant.
She said, "That house. It doesn't have brick on it yet." (The back is white vinyl)
Apparently, she HAS been paying attention to the Three Little Pigs book we've read twice. That is the only thing I can think of that would spur this thought. (Ya know, the house made of brick was the only house the wolf couldn't blow down.)

I branched out and purchased Fruit Loops this week at the store. This is not something I usually buy, but it was on sale, so I went for it. Today I got out the box and sat it on the counter. Lila suddenly shouts, " A Toucan mommy! There's a toucan on the box!"

Again, she is my first child, so I have no idea what to expect at this age, but this child's memory really scares me sometimes.
Example A: We were driving down the road when we came up on a truck that was pulling a boat. Lila says, "We went on that."
I ask her what she was talking about and she said, "A boat." She went on to tell me about how Zoe was on the boat and had to go to the bathroom so she got off the boat and then Chandra got off the boat and then her and daddy got off the boat and went on the tube and I stayed in the boat." She is right! This past summer we did go on the boat with Chandra and she did have to get off the boat with her dog Zoe to go to the bathroom.
Example B: This morning she asked me if Graham was in his crib. She thought for a few minutes and started telling me about how when we went to the big hotel that Graham slept in his pack n play and me and daddy slept in the big bed and she slept in the other big bed and that we saw the Christmas lights, but that Christmas is over and the lights aren't up anymore and that when we get home Daddy is going to put up our Christmas tree in our living room and that we need to move her bookshelf so that we can put up her tree in her room ( her bookshelf is now where her tree was) and put one in Graham's room and my room and then Santa can come and we can have Jesus' birthday....SHEW, just breathe girl! :)
I am assuming she is referring to the 1st weekend in November when we went to Gatlinburg to see the Christmas lights.

She also remembers things such as what she wears when something happens or when we go somewhere. I.E. Every time we wear the sweat outfit that she played in the snow in, she reminds me that is what she wore to play in the snow. Every time we wear her red jacket, she tells me that she threw up in that jacket. There are several other outfits that she references throwing up in ( can you tell we've had the stomach bug a few times this year?) Or she will say, I wore this to so and so's birthday party.
She received several pajama's for Christmas and whenever she wears them she is sure to tell me which aunt gave them to her.
She also knows directions. Every time we pass a certain neighborhood, she tells me that is where Hope and Aiden live. As soon as we turn on Port Royal Road she tells me that is where Miss Nastic lives (this is what she calls her coach at Let it Shine which whom she hasn't taken from since October.) She tells me where her Dr's office is and if we pass a building that looks like my Dr. she tells me "that is where mommy goes to the Dr.")
Just today, she said, "There's your office mommy." I have taken her there ONCE with me.
I think she got my weird memory about remembering what I wore to special events and Michael's observance! I know yall have some stories about your own little sponges and I would love to hear them.

Now, on to my boy! HE IS WALKING! Now, that tickles me! It is not all the time and he still wants me to hold him, but at least I know that he really CAN walk. He actually took his first steps the Saturday before he turned 17 months. It was only a few, but then within the next few days he up and walked half way across the room. It has been a slow process, but he has gotten to where he will walk and then turn around and walk back. He can still crawl super fast so if he really wants something then he gets down and crawls. (This was my post for last Tuesday and just in a week's time he is practically walking all the time now!)
He has really taken off with his words lately too. I feel like I have been mooing and quacking at him the past 8 months and he still hasn't totally responded. One morning, when his sister wasn't around I decided to ask him what all the farm animals say and he busted out with almost all of them! Since he was on a roll I asked him his body parts and he actually participated with me! WOO HOO! He still loves to just talk about cars, choo choo's, and beep beep's the best.
My "tickle me" for him today is while reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, he held up his fist to give me a pound! We always say,"Boom" when we do this, so when he heard me reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, his reaction was to give me a pound.
Also when changing his diaper tonight, he said, "SHOO WEE...Poopie!" HAHA!
I have a feeling he might be like his sister and her observance. We had to go back past church today about an hour after we dropped off Lila for school. Right after we passed it, he started saying, "Lila, Lila and pointing." He must have recognized that is where we take her.
Love this boy!

Put 'em in the dirt....

and let them play.
This is what Michael told me when we were pregnant the first time and we didn't know what we were having yet. Because I have 3 older sisters and 7 nieces (6 at the time) all I seem to know are girls. I asked Michael, "What do you do with a boy?" and that was his reply.

Now, I know:

My little Fashionista

I posted this post last year when Lila got her new sunglasses. Unfortunately, that pair broke, so here she is sporting her new pair.




I've been contemplating chopping the back of her hair since her sides are finally starting to grow a little. It was a lazy day at home, so we were "letting the mullet fly" and trying the big bow in the front. :)



This little girl keeps me in check making sure that her pants, shirt, shoes, and sometimes, even her panty's always match...Oh, and don't forget the bows!! She has made me turn around and go back and get them. I know all yall think it is all me, but this girl doesn't know life without her piggies and her bows!

A boy and his dog

Poor old Chloe girl. She is our million dollar bionic dog. She has 2 synthetic knees and bad hips and elbows. She is the best dog in the world though. I feel bad that she doesn't get the attention she deserves. I can't wait until it is warmer and we can go out together. She doesn't know any tricks other than, "Lay There." That is is our inside joke, because literally she finds her spot she wants and just stays. However, now with two young ones in the house, she often hears sayings such has, "Beep Beep!" "Chloe, get up. Get out of here!", "Chloe, you are in my way." "Get off of my bean bag." Poor old girl just wants to be where we are. She just turned 12. Although, I admit, she seems much much older. She has had a rough life in terms of health issues, but she is pretty spoiled on the inside.
On days when I lie down at night and am not even sure I have petted her, I am reminded that she is at least shown some affection by someone...even if it is not what she bargained for.

G loves to love on his "Co-key", as he calls her.
What is it about a boy and his dog...oh, and his trains???

Tickle Me Tuesday

-In hopes that I don't forget some of the funny things that come out of my kids mouths, here are some of my "tickle me's" for today.

About 20 minutes after I dropped Lila off at school today I get a text. It is from her teacher. I immediately thought, "UH OH"
I opened it up and this is what it said, "I asked the class what an elephant says & Lila said, "Roll Tide." You just need to teach her Rocky Top."

This made me giggle all day. I think it totally caught her off guard. When I picked Lila up from school, Miss. Faris was quick to tell me that they sang Rocky Top! :)
When we got home Lila said she needed to go back to school to tell Miss Faris that she has a Smokey!

-While I was pulling out of our neighborhood today, I looked to my left up the street and noticed a lot of crows. Thinking about what could be dead up there, I said aloud, "Uh oh". Lila asks me, "What did you hit mommy?"
HAHAHA!! That is terrible isn't it?

As for Graham:
Anything that we put in front of him to eat, even if it is ice cream, he says, "HOT HOT!" SOOO CUTE!